A RESILIENT MINDSET BELIEVES WHAT’S NEXT IS BETTER THAN BEFORE
What if the life you're trying to keep from falling apart is the life your soul is trying to outgrow?
This question got me thinking…
Does this refer to something that feels bad when happening, but turns out better than before?
In 2014 I left the nest.
After 13 years of partial or full employment I was ready to spread my wings and fly.
I didn’t know exactly what it meant to be an independent contractor, but I was ready to find out.
With "you're not ready" in my ear, I felt like young Skywalker leaving his Jedi training early.
“Ready you are not.”
Fortunately, I didn't lose my hand in a battle with my evil father.
Nevertheless, I didn't know what it meant to be solely on my own - without a safety net.
A SKILL TO RULE THEM ALL
Are you prepared to be your own cheerleader?
The first question I ask when someone tells me they’re thinking of working for themselves.
Substitute “cheerleader” with “tax advisor”, “financial planner”, “service provider”.
If your mind is set, let me remind you of this big little task below -
Acquire client → build relationship → submit tender
This process can be arduous and time consuming.
Not to mention how it feels when a tender is met with “no”.
Nevertheless, it’s a big part of the gig.
When asked about the most important skill for an independent contractor, these are the first 3 words out of my mouth:
A Resilient Mindset
A mindset with the outlook that believes what comes next will be better than what came before it.
This belief doesn’t always come naturally, especially when you’re attached to the thing that came before.
A few weeks ago I went through a very big change.
Still going through it, actually.
After 22 years in a beautiful apartment in a beautiful area of Munich, my wife and I moved out of the city…
And our beloved home.
“Is that gonna hold!?”
OLD CHARM, NEW STYLE
To help the change “sink in” and to “come down” after the big move, we spent a few days at Tegernsee - a beautiful lake outside of Munich.
We stayed at the restorative Blyb - a stylish hotel that mixes modern and classic with charm.
Restorative with its lake-view sauna, lovely rooms and nourishing food.
The funny thing is, I know this place really well.
Between 2015 - 2018, I ran leadership trainings for ComTeam, the previous tenant and my Kooperationspartner.
I loved my time there – early morning walks, pre-dinner swims.
A part of me was sad that my former client was no longer there.
Another, more resilient part of me was grateful it had become a restorative oasis to visit after significant events.
And that’s how it will be for our move - whatever comes next will be better than what came before it.
Choosing to believe this way helps ease the pain and discomfort of big changes.
It also builds resilience.
Back in the 1990’s Sheryl Crow sang that “A Change Would Do You Good”.
I don’t know who “you” was but I believe her message is universal.
3 REASONS CHANGE IS GOOD
Out of curiosity, I asked ChatGPT for the top 3 reasons why change is good – AI can be “hit or miss”.
Here’s what it said:
· Change helps you grow and learn new things.
· Change brings new opportunities and experiences.
· Change keeps life interesting and prevents boredom.
A definite “hit”, I’d say.
Again, those reasons don’t mean much if you’re attached to the thing you’re trying to change.
Working closely with people who want to change, or need help navigating a change, I try to keep in mind this:
People change when the pain of the status quo is larger than the pain of letting something go.
In other words, you might choose to stay in a job you don’t like before facing the risks of leaving the job without a clear replacement.
If you believe it’s "better the devil you know than the devil you don't" you’d probably rather deal with a familiar situation than risk an unknown one.
For many people, uncertainty = pain.
BREAK STATUS QUO TO GROW
If it’s resilience you seek, look no further than breaking your status quo.
Here’s what I know to be true –
By stepping away from your comfort zone and breaking your status quo, you will grow.
Here are a few critical questions to ask yourself if you’re contemplating a career change:
Yes, leaving the comfort zone can be uncomfortable.
You might have to navigate uncertainly for a while – probably the biggest obstacle to breaking the status quo.
But without a doubt, you will grow and learn new things.
There will be new opportunities and experiences.
And life could get interesting for while - without boredom.
Let’s add develop a resilient mindset to ChatGPT’s top 3.
That’s a big benefit in my book.
As someone who has made four successful career pivots, I can tell you this:
Nothing feels better than walking away from a boring job and walking toward one that fires you up.
CALL TO ACTION
What nest are you ready to leave (job, city, relationship)?
But don’t “throw the baby out with the bath water” - another useful English idiom.
In other words, if something is working, no need to change it.
There’s no point in making a change just to make a change.
Or perhaps your change is something much smaller.
The most important thing is not what you do or don’t do.
The most important thing is to be aware of why you do/don’t do it.
If you’re happy in that job/city/relationship, find ways to make it better.
From furniture to wallpaper, there were countless times over 22 years when we changed something in our beloved apartment.
For all we know Sheryl could have been talking about an old answer machine.
If you’re ready to leave a nest—or simply understand why you’re still in it—let’s talk.